


These Are the Things I Didn't Say

by pushypossum



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M, weird second person perspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 22:34:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3786790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pushypossum/pseuds/pushypossum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You always think you have more time to say what you really want to say. Time's something Barry's been running out of lately though, huh?</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Are the Things I Didn't Say

Cisco’s blood is running cold on the floor of S.T.A.R. Labs. The town is safe due to your miraculous speeds, turning the water back around on Mardon. Cisco’s heart is ripped in two, quite literally. Iris loves you and Joe is safe. Cisco’s legs are tucked askew and Caitlin’s crying and she won’t stop. Wells is gone, he said it’s a “great tragedy” but the frown doesn’t reach his eyes. Caitlin’s eyes are bright red and she’s saying something but you can’t hear her anymore, you can’t hear any of them, because Cisco’s body is being wrapped under white sheets and all that’s playing in your head are the words you never said.

 

3 weeks ago, Wednesday the 11th: Cisco asks if you want to go catch a movie, and you say “no” because you had plans to meet with Iris that evening. His smile faltered but didn’t fall, and he said “oh, okay, maybe some other time” and you want to go back and say “you know what, never mind, let’s go see it”.

 

1 month and 3 days ago, Sunday the 1st: Cisco, Caitlin, and Wells stand together for a picture, and you run to join them. Right as the flash of the camera goes off, you’re back in place, catching the camera as it’s suspended in air. Reviewing the picture, all of you look so happy, and when Cisco comes up and slaps you on the shoulder, you feel the words bubbling up in your throat: “thank you, Cisco for always being there”. The words are nearly off your tongue, but Cisco is already laughing and talking with Caitlin about something or other. You don’t think much of it, though. There’s always other chances to let someone know how you feel, right?

 

2 weeks and 2 days ago, Monday the 16th: Cisco is tapping his foot on the desk, a rhythmic beat that has you hypnotized. He always said that his brother got all the musical talent in the family, but you find this hard to believe as he hums along to whatever is currently playing on his Pandora mix. He moves his head to the beat, and his eyes are closed and his lips are tugging at the edge of a smile. You realize you’ve been staring, but he hasn’t noticed. You’re captivated. You’re about to ask him what song he’s listening to, but Harrison calls you over before you can say anything. You’ll ask him later.

 

This morning, Wednesday the 4th: Cisco is smiling at you as you review the case. You love him. The thought strikes you as he’s saying something about the “Weather Wizard”, but you realize he could be spouting nonsense and you would still listen. You want to hear his music taste, you want to go see a movie with him, you want to tell him thank you, you want more days, hours, minutes, seconds, with him and you’re about to ask him to have a drink with you tonight, when all of this is over. But you get nervous, you swallow the words and nod and laugh like you always do. If Cisco noticed your internal debacle, he made no show of it. You can’t decide whether that would’ve been better or not.

 

You’re standing over his body, and the words the you’d bottled up are pouring out now.

 

“On Monday the 16th, you looked great listening to that song, what was it?”

 

Joe’s look is of pure pity, but you don’t care.

 

“Thank you for always being there for me.”

 

Caitlin is gripping the back of your shirt and trembling. Or is it you? You can’t tell anymore. You lean in and whisper,

 

“I love you.”

 

And the words hang alone in the air.

 

“Let’s go see a movie together, when all this is over and done.” 

* * *

 

You don’t stay in there much longer after that. You can’t look Caitlin in the eyes and Wells disappeared when everything was over and done. You don’t trust him anymore. You should’ve been there, you should’ve said all those things before, and before it you’re running. You’re running and your feet barely touch the pavement. You’re running and you can’t see the buildings or the faces of passerbys like you normally can. You’re running and all you see is Cisco, Cisco, Cisco until you look to your left and see yourself and the city is dark and the girl is screaming for a taxi and the man is twirling a sign.

 

“--- Barry? Are you there?” His voice cuts through your mental fog like a knife and you want to cry.

 

“Yes, Cisco. Hey, do you want to go see a movie?”

**Author's Note:**

> There's not enough Barry/Cisco and it's breaking my heart so I thought I'd wrote my own.


End file.
